{"id":324,"date":"2017-07-21T22:41:08","date_gmt":"2017-07-21T19:41:08","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.msxlabs.org\/sosyal\/?p=324"},"modified":"2017-07-21T22:41:08","modified_gmt":"2017-07-21T19:41:08","slug":"konusmayan-selma","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.msxlabs.org\/sosyal\/konusmayan-selma\/","title":{"rendered":"Konu\u015fmayan Selma"},"content":{"rendered":"

Selma, 6 \u00e7ocuklu bir ailenin d\u00f6rd\u00fcnc\u00fc \u00e7ocu\u011fuydu, bana geldi\u011finde 8 ya\u015f\u0131ndayd\u0131. Selma\u2019n\u0131n onu psikolojik olarak susmaya iten, \u201cse\u00e7ici konu\u015fmazl\u0131k\u201d dedi\u011fimiz s\u00fcrece getiren olaylar be\u015f ya\u015f\u0131ndayken ba\u015flam\u0131\u015ft\u0131.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Selma, be\u015f karde\u015fi, anne ve babas\u0131yla kendi halinde normal bir ya\u015fam s\u00fcrerken, bir g\u00fcn annesi hastalan\u0131yor. O d\u00f6nemlerde be\u015f ya\u015flar\u0131nda. Kendisinden b\u00fcy\u00fck iki abla, bir a\u011fabey ve kendisinden k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck iki karde\u015f daha var.. K\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck karde\u015fin yeni do\u011fdu\u011fu d\u00f6nemde anne ciddi sa\u011fl\u0131k sorunlar\u0131yla kar\u015f\u0131la\u015f\u0131yor. Uzun s\u00fcre tedavi g\u00f6r\u00fcyor. Yo\u011fun u\u011fra\u015f\u0131lara ra\u011fmen iyile\u015fmiyor. Hastane ortam\u0131ndan evine gidip son g\u00fcnlerini evinde huzur i\u00e7inde ya\u015fas\u0131n diye doktorlar taraf\u0131ndan eve g\u00f6nderiliyor. Birka\u00e7 ay evde babaanne, hala ve benzeri yak\u0131n akrabalar\u0131n yard\u0131m\u0131yla ya\u015fat\u0131l\u0131yor. Birg\u00fcn hayata g\u00f6zlerini kapat\u0131yor.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Anneye en fazla ihtiya\u00e7 duyulan d\u00f6nemde anne, Selma\u2019n\u0131n hayat\u0131ndan \u00e7\u0131k\u0131p gidiyor. Aradan 1,5 y\u0131l ge\u00e7iyor. Kendi hallerinde bir \u015fekilde ya\u015famaya al\u0131\u015f\u0131yorlar. B\u00fcy\u00fck k\u0131zlar evde yemek yap\u0131p, en k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck \u00e7ocuklara annelik yaparken, Selma babas\u0131yla birlikte d\u00fckkanda \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131yor. D\u00fckkanlar\u0131 evin hemen alt kat\u0131nda oldu\u011fu i\u00e7in baba endi\u015fe duymadan i\u015f hayat\u0131na devam ediyor. \u00c7ocuklar\u0131n\u0131 kimseye muhta\u00e7 etmeden y\u00fck etmeden idare ediyor.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Bir g\u00fcn ablalar ve a\u011fabey, karde\u015flerini alarak yak\u0131n akrabalar\u0131na gidiyorlar. Selma babas\u0131n\u0131n yan\u0131ndan ayr\u0131lm\u0131yor. \u00c7ok \u0131srar ediyorlar ama istemedi\u011fi i\u00e7in gitmiyor. Babas\u0131 da gitmemesine ses \u00e7\u0131karm\u0131yor. \u00d6\u011fleden sonra baba k\u0131z d\u00fckkan\u0131 temizlemeye ba\u015fl\u0131yorlar. Selma babas\u0131n\u0131n istedi\u011fi gibi her yeri bir g\u00fczel temizleyip s\u00fcp\u00fcr\u00fcyor. Daha sonra radyoyu a\u00e7\u0131yor. M\u00fczik dinlemeye ba\u015fl\u0131yor. Ancak d\u0131\u015fardan gelen sesler nedeniyle m\u00fczi\u011fi duyamad\u0131\u011f\u0131 i\u00e7in, sesini iyice a\u00e7\u0131yor. Babas\u0131 da ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131n a\u011fr\u0131d\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 s\u00f6yleyerek m\u00fczi\u011fin sesini k\u0131smas\u0131n\u0131 istiyor. Selma, babas\u0131n\u0131n s\u00f6yledi\u011fini duymam\u0131\u015f gibi yap\u0131yor. Hani \u00e7ocuklar s\u0131kl\u0131kla yaparlar ya.. Bir s\u00fcre sonra babas\u0131, ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131n \u00e7ok a\u011fr\u0131d\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 s\u00f6yl\u00fcyor. Y\u00fcz\u00fc as\u0131l\u0131yor. Selma, gidip gelip babay\u0131 kontrol ediyor ba\u015f a\u011fr\u0131s\u0131 ge\u00e7ti mi diye.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Babas\u0131 ba\u015f a\u011fr\u0131s\u0131na dayanamayarak eve ila\u00e7 almaya \u00e7\u0131k\u0131yor. S\u0131caktan bunald\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131, kendini k\u00f6t\u00fc hissetti\u011fini s\u00f6yl\u00fcyor. D\u00fckkana dikkat etmesini hemen bir a\u011fr\u0131 kesici al\u0131p gelece\u011fini de ekliyor. Eve \u00e7\u0131k\u0131yor. Aradan epey zaman ge\u00e7mesine ra\u011fmen baba yok. Bekliyor baba yok. Merak edip yukar\u0131ya babas\u0131na bakmaya \u00e7\u0131k\u0131yor. Eve giriyor. Babas\u0131na sesleniyor. Cevap yok. Tam oturma odas\u0131na giriyor ki babas\u0131 o anda Selma\u2019n\u0131n g\u00f6zleri \u00f6n\u00fcnde kalp krizi ge\u00e7irmeye ba\u015fl\u0131yor. Selma babas\u0131n\u0131n \u00e7\u0131rp\u0131nmalar\u0131na, yerde t\u0131rmalamas\u0131na\u2026vs. \u015fahit oluyor. Babas\u0131 son nefesini verip yerde cans\u0131z yatarken, uyand\u0131rmaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131yor.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Babas\u0131 uyanm\u0131yor\u2026 Camdan a\u015fa\u011f\u0131 do\u011fru ba\u011f\u0131rmaya ba\u015fl\u0131yor: \u201c\u0130mdat.. Babama bir \u015fey oldu\u2026 Yard\u0131m edin!..\u201d K\u0131sa s\u00fcre i\u00e7inde ev mahalle halk\u0131yla doluyor\u2026 Cenaze i\u015flemleri bitince 1,5 y\u0131l \u00f6nce anneleri \u00f6len bu alt\u0131 karde\u015fin ne olaca\u011f\u0131 tart\u0131\u015fmas\u0131 ba\u015fl\u0131yor.. kimi \u201cyan\u0131m\u0131za alal\u0131m\u201d, kimi \u201cyuvaya verelim\u201d, kimi de \u201chepsine birden nas\u0131l bakaca\u011f\u0131z\u201d diyor. En sonunda akrabalar aralar\u0131nda anla\u015f\u0131yorlar. Her birimiz birisini alal\u0131m. B\u00f6ylece \u00e7ocuklar yurtlarda peri\u015fan olmaz, arada s\u0131rada da olsa birbirlerini g\u00f6r\u00fcrler.\u201d diye d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcyorlar. Selma\u2019y\u0131 \u00e7ok sevdi\u011fi halas\u0131 al\u0131yor. \u0130ki y\u0131ld\u0131r Selma yanlar\u0131nda ve hi\u00e7 konu\u015fmuyor.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Duyduklar\u0131m beni \u00e7ok etkilemi\u015fti. Daha \u00f6nce gidilen uzmanlar\u0131n isimleri beni endi\u015felendirmi\u015fti. Bir yandan da bir \u015feyler yapabilirim belki diye d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnmeden edemiyordum. Hikayesinden \u00e7ok etkilendi\u011fim bu k\u0131z\u0131 merakla bekliyordum. Halas\u0131 olan biteni tek tek anlatt\u0131.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cGelinimiz ve a\u011fabeyimin \u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fcnden sonra ben de onu bir t\u00fcrl\u00fc mutlu edemedim. \u0130ki y\u0131ld\u0131r y\u00fcz\u00fc hi\u00e7 g\u00fclm\u00fcyor. Kendili\u011finden hi\u00e7 bir \u015fey yapm\u0131yor. Sadece konu\u015fmasa neyse ama sanki kurulmu\u015f bir robot gibi. \u00d6rne\u011fin sofraya oturup yemek yiyece\u011fiz \u201cHadi Selma sofraya otur!\u201d diyoruz oturuyor. \u201cHadi Selma art\u0131k kalkabilirsin\u201d demeden kalkm\u0131yor. \u00d6nceleri ald\u0131rmad\u0131k. Bakt\u0131k olmad\u0131 kar\u015f\u0131m\u0131za ald\u0131k uzun uzun konu\u015ftuk anlatt\u0131k. Ona evimizin bir k\u0131z\u0131 oldu\u011funu, evdeki herkes kadar her \u015feye hakk\u0131 oldu\u011funu\u2026 Hi\u00e7birisi fayda etmedi. Zamanla \u00f6fkelenip inad\u0131n\u0131 k\u0131rmak i\u00e7in baz\u0131 taktikler uygulamaya ba\u015flad\u0131k. Sofra haz\u0131r olunca gel otur demedik, a\u00e7 kald\u0131\u011f\u0131 g\u00fcnler oldu. Ya da art\u0131k kalkabilirsin demedik saatlerce sofrada oturdu. Hadi art\u0131k uyu demedik, sabaha kadar koltukta \u00f6yle oturdu. Vicdan\u0131n yoksa s\u00f6yleme\u2026\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

Onunla yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131m ilk seans d\u00fcn gibi akl\u0131mda. Hal hareketleri dinlemiyormu\u015f gibi ama t\u00fcm al\u0131c\u0131lar\u0131n\u0131 bana \u00e7evirdi\u011fini hissetti\u011fim tav\u0131rlar\u0131.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u2013 Biliyor musun ben seni \u00e7ok sevdim.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u2013 \u2026\u2026<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u2013 Vallahi \u00e7ok ciddiyim, \u00e7ok sevdim.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u2013 \u2026..<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u2013 Ne g\u00fczel hi\u00e7 konu\u015fmuyorsun, di\u011fer \u00e7ocuklar gibi kafam\u0131 \u015fi\u015firmiyorsun..<\/strong><\/p>\n

G\u00f6zlerimin i\u00e7ine bak\u0131p g\u00fcl\u00fcmsemesini saklamak ister gibi dudaklar\u0131n\u0131 \u0131s\u0131rarak ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 sallad\u0131.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u2013 Biliyor musun bazen \u00e7ocuklar\u0131n hayatlar\u0131nda baz\u0131 \u015feyler yolunda gitmiyor, benim i\u015fimse bunlar\u0131 yoluna koymak. Beni dinledi\u011fini biliyorum hatta benimle konu\u015ftu\u011funu bile hissediyorum. \u00c7ocuklar benden yard\u0131m isterler, ben de onlara yard\u0131m ederim. Bu hep b\u00f6yle oldu.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u2013 \u2026\u2026.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u2013 Ama \u015fu an i\u015fler de\u011fi\u015fti. Sana yard\u0131m etmeyi ben istiyorum. E\u011fer bana yard\u0131m edersen, izin verirsen seni susturan \u015feyin ne oldu\u011funu bulurum. Ger\u00e7ekten\u2026 inan bana\u2026 izin verir misin?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 sallad\u0131! Evet ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 sallad\u0131!<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u2013 Elimde baz\u0131 resimler var, o resimleri \u00e7ocuklara g\u00f6steriyorum onlar da bana resimlerle ilgili hikayeler anlat\u0131yorlar. Onlar bana hikaye anlat\u0131nca ben de onlar\u0131n mutlu olmas\u0131n\u0131 sa\u011fl\u0131yorum. Yani b\u00fct\u00fcn s\u0131r hikayede. Biliyorum sen konu\u015fmuyorsun. Ama hikaye anlatmak istersen, konu\u015ftu\u011funu kimseye s\u00f6ylemem. Bu ikimizin s\u0131rr\u0131 olur. Anla\u015ft\u0131k m\u0131?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Bir s\u00fcre d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fc. Ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 sa\u011fa sola sallad\u0131. Evetle hay\u0131r aras\u0131nda gidip geliyordu. Birden evet anlam\u0131na gelecek \u015fekilde ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 sallad\u0131. Kar\u015f\u0131mdayd\u0131\u2026 ben ona resimler g\u00f6steriyordum o da bana hikayeler anlat\u0131yordu. \u0130\u015fimiz bitti\u011finde ona \u00e7ok te\u015fekk\u00fcr ettim. Anlatt\u0131klar\u0131n\u0131 analiz etmeye bile gerek yoktu. O kadar saf, o kadar temiz, o kadar kendi hikayesini anlatm\u0131\u015ft\u0131 ki\u2026<\/strong><\/p>\n

Selma\u2019n\u0131n bilin\u00e7alt\u0131 karmakar\u0131\u015f\u0131kt\u0131. \u0130\u015fte Selma\u2019n\u0131n analizden ge\u00e7mesine bile gerek b\u0131rakmayan, halas\u0131n\u0131 dinlerken g\u00f6z ya\u015flar\u0131na bo\u011fan, beni analiz yaparken h\u0131\u00e7k\u0131r\u0131klara bo\u011fan hikayesi\u2026<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cBir varm\u0131\u015f bir yokmu\u015f, bir zamanlar bir \u00fclke varm\u0131\u015f. Bu \u00fclkede anne babas\u0131yla ya\u015fayan \u00e7ok mutlu \u00e7ocuklar varm\u0131\u015f. \u00c7ocuklar karde\u015f karde\u015f hep oynarlarm\u0131\u015f, anne babalar\u0131 onlara hi\u00e7 k\u0131zmazlarm\u0131\u015f. Bir g\u00fcn bu \u00e7ocuklar\u0131n annesi hastalanm\u0131\u015f. \u00c7ocuklar \u00e7ok \u00fcz\u00fclm\u00fc\u015f. Ama kimse \u00e7ocuklar\u0131n \u00fcz\u00fcld\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn\u00fc anlamam\u0131\u015f. Anneyi hep hastaneye g\u00f6t\u00fcrm\u00fc\u015fler. \u0130la\u00e7lar vermi\u015fler. Hem de ac\u0131 ac\u0131 ila\u00e7lar. Anne, s\u0131rf \u00e7ocuklar\u0131n\u0131 yaln\u0131z b\u0131rakmamak i\u00e7in i\u00e7mi\u015f b\u00fct\u00fcn o ac\u0131 ila\u00e7lar\u0131. \u00c7ocuklara hep annelerinin iyile\u015fece\u011fi s\u00f6ylenmi\u015f.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Bir g\u00fcn anneyi eve getirmi\u015fler. \u00c7ocuklar anne geldi diye \u00e7ok mutlu olmu\u015flar. Anne hep yatakta yatmaya ba\u015flam\u0131\u015f. Art\u0131k \u00e7ocuklar\u0131na yemekler yapm\u0131yormu\u015f. \u00c7ocuklar \u00e7ok \u00fcz\u00fclm\u00fc\u015fler. Annelerinin yan\u0131nda oyunlar oynamaya ba\u015flam\u0131\u015flar. Annelerinin yan\u0131nda niye oynuyorlarm\u0131\u015f biliyor musun? Anneleri e\u011flensin diye. Ama babaanneleri hep k\u0131z\u0131yormu\u015f onlara. \u201cG\u00fcr\u00fclt\u00fc yap\u0131p durmay\u0131n. Anneniz zaten sizin y\u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fczden hastaland\u0131\u201d diye. \u00c7ocuklar \u00e7ok yaramazl\u0131k yapt\u0131 diye anne hastalanm\u0131\u015f me\u011fer. \u00c7ocuklar da anne iyile\u015fsin diye onu e\u011flendirmek istiyorlarm\u0131\u015f ama kimse anlam\u0131yormu\u015f. Herkes \u00e7ocuklar\u0131n\u0131 azarlay\u0131nca anneleri de \u00e7ok \u00fcz\u00fcl\u00fcyormu\u015f..<\/strong><\/p>\n

Bir g\u00fcn anne \u00f6lm\u00fc\u015f. Herkes a\u011flam\u0131\u015f. \u00c7ocuklar annenin neden \u00f6ld\u00fc\u011f\u00fcn\u00fc anlam\u0131\u015f. Yaramazl\u0131k yapt\u0131lar diye. \u00c7ocuklar evde babalar\u0131yla ya\u015famaya ba\u015flam\u0131\u015flar. Bir g\u00fcn anneanne gelip yemek yaparken, \u00e7ocuklar g\u00fcr\u00fclt\u00fc yapm\u0131\u015flar. Anneanne onlara k\u0131zm\u0131\u015f \u201cK\u0131z\u0131m sizin y\u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fczden hasta oldu. Hi\u00e7 annenizin s\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc dinlemediniz hasta ettiniz k\u0131z\u0131m\u0131. Sizin y\u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fczden de \u00f6ld\u00fc. S\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fc dinlemeyip g\u00fcr\u00fclt\u00fc yapar, \u00e7ok konu\u015fursan\u0131z beni de \u00f6ld\u00fcr\u00fcp ortada kalacaks\u0131n\u0131z. Kim bakacak size?\u201d demi\u015f.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Bir g\u00fcn Selma, babas\u0131yla d\u00fckkanda oturuyormu\u015f. Ablalar\u0131 karde\u015fleri amcalar\u0131na gitmi\u015fler. Selma babas\u0131n\u0131n yan\u0131ndan ayr\u0131lmak istememi\u015f. Hi\u00e7 g\u00fcr\u00fclt\u00fc yapmadan hep babas\u0131na yard\u0131m ediyormu\u015f. Anneleri \u00e7ocuklar evde yokken hastalanm\u0131\u015f ya. Babas\u0131 yaln\u0131z kal\u0131r hastalan\u0131r diye yaln\u0131z b\u0131rakmak istemiyormu\u015f. Babalar\u0131 \u00e7ocuklar\u0131na hi\u00e7 k\u0131zm\u0131yormu\u015f zaten. G\u00fcr\u00fclt\u00fc yapt\u0131klar\u0131nda bile.. Selma d\u00fckkanda babas\u0131na yard\u0131m etmi\u015f, her yeri mis gibi yapm\u0131\u015f. Elleri de ac\u0131m\u0131\u015f biraz. Radyoyu a\u00e7m\u0131\u015f. Babas\u0131n\u0131n ba\u015f\u0131 a\u011fr\u0131m\u0131\u015f. \u201cK\u0131z\u0131m kapat \u015funun sesini\u201d demi\u015f. Selma duymu\u015f ama duymamazl\u0131ktan gelmi\u015f. En sevdi\u011fi m\u00fczikler varm\u0131\u015f.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Babas\u0131 biraz sonra eve gitmi\u015f. \u0130la\u00e7 al\u0131p gelecekmi\u015f. Gitmi\u015f gelmemi\u015f. Selma\u2019n\u0131n akl\u0131na hemen anneannesiyle babaannesinin s\u00f6yledikleri gelmi\u015f. Annesi zaten \u00e7ocuklar\u0131n yaramazl\u0131\u011f\u0131 y\u00fcz\u00fcnden \u00f6lm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc ya. Selma \u00e7ok korkmu\u015f eve \u00e7\u0131km\u0131\u015f. Babas\u0131n\u0131 aram\u0131\u015f. Odaya girince bir bakm\u0131\u015f, babas\u0131 bir \u015feyler yap\u0131yor. Selma \u00e7ok korkmu\u015f. Babas\u0131 Selma\u2019ya \u201cgit\u201d der gibi i\u015faretler yapm\u0131\u015f. Selma gitmemi\u015f. Babas\u0131 yerde uyumaya ba\u015flay\u0131nca uyand\u0131rmaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015fm\u0131\u015f. Uyand\u0131ramay\u0131nca a\u011flamaya ba\u015flay\u0131p kom\u015fular\u0131 \u00e7a\u011f\u0131rm\u0131\u015f. Sonra ev kalabal\u0131k olmu\u015f. Selma kimseye s\u00f6yleyememi\u015f ama \u00e7ok \u00fcz\u00fclm\u00fc\u015f.. babas\u0131 \u201d git \u201d dedi\u011fi halde gitmemi\u015f. Yine babas\u0131n\u0131n s\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc dinlememi\u015f. E\u011fer gitseydi, m\u00fczi\u011fin sesini a\u00e7\u0131p babas\u0131n\u0131n ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 a\u011fr\u0131tmasayd\u0131 babas\u0131 \u00f6lmeyecekti. Selma\u2019n\u0131n y\u00fcz\u00fcnden \u00f6ld\u00fc.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Akrabalar \u00e7ocuklar\u0131 payla\u015fm\u0131\u015flar. Selma ablalar\u0131ndan ayr\u0131lmak istememi\u015f. K\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck karde\u015fini de \u00e7ok seviyormu\u015f. Halas\u0131 yan\u0131na gelip \u201cK\u0131z\u0131m sen art\u0131k benim k\u0131z\u0131ms\u0131n, bizimle ya\u015fayacaks\u0131n\u201d demi\u015f. Selma \u00e7ok mutlu olmu\u015f. \u00d6yle mutlu olmu\u015f ki, halas\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7ok seviyormu\u015f, istedi\u011fi zaman karde\u015flerime g\u00f6t\u00fcr\u00fcrler, diye d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnm\u00fc\u015f.. Halas\u0131n\u0131n evine gidince \u201cArt\u0131k bunlar benim yeni anne babam\u201d demi\u015f kendi kendine. Ama birden korkmaya ba\u015flam\u0131\u015f. \u201cAnnemle babam\u0131 ben \u00f6ld\u00fcrd\u00fcm. Yaramazl\u0131k yapt\u0131m, s\u00f6zlerini dinlemedim. Yeni annemi babam\u0131 \u00e7ok seviyorum. Ya onlara da bir \u015fey olursa ben ne yapar\u0131m?\u201d Sonra akl\u0131na bir \u015fey gelmi\u015f. Gece yatmadan \u00f6nce yata\u011f\u0131n\u0131n ba\u015fucuna oturup dua etmeye ba\u015flam\u0131\u015f. \u201cAllah\u2019\u0131m .. Ben \u00e7ok yaramaz bir k\u0131z\u0131m. Annem babam benim y\u00fcz\u00fcmden \u00f6ld\u00fc. Halamlar \u00e7ok iyi insanlar. Ne olur benim y\u00fcz\u00fcmden onlar\u0131 da yan\u0131na alma. E\u011fer onlar\u0131 da al\u0131rsan ben kimin yan\u0131nda kal\u0131r\u0131m? Ne olur Allah\u2019\u0131m bana yard\u0131m et. Hi\u00e7 konu\u015fmamam i\u00e7in bana yard\u0131m et. Ne zaman g\u00fcr\u00fclt\u00fc yap\u0131p s\u00f6z dinlemesem annem babam \u00f6l\u00fcyor. Hep susmam i\u00e7in bana yard\u0131m et Allah\u2019\u0131m. Ne s\u00f6ylerlerse yapaca\u011f\u0131m, onlar s\u00f6ylemeden hi\u00e7bir \u015fey yapmayaca\u011f\u0131m\u2026 ne olur onlar\u0131 benden alma!..\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

O g\u00fcnden sonra Selma hi\u00e7 konu\u015fmam\u0131\u015f. G\u00fclmemi\u015f. \u201cE\u011fer g\u00fclersem evde g\u00fcr\u00fclt\u00fc olur, ba\u015flar\u0131 a\u011fr\u0131y\u0131p \u00f6l\u00fcrler\u201d diye korkmu\u015f. Hep susmu\u015f..<\/strong><\/p>\n

Hikayesi bitince Selma g\u00f6zlerimin i\u00e7ine bakt\u0131 ve ekledi; \u201cBiliyor musun? Hala her gece dua ediyorum. Allah\u2019\u0131m ne olur konu\u015fmayay\u0131m, konu\u015fmamam i\u00e7in bana yard\u0131m et!\u201d diye. \u201cBazen \u00e7ok mutlu oluyorum. O zaman \u00e7ok korkuyorum sevin\u00e7ten \u00e7\u0131\u011fl\u0131k atar\u0131m da g\u00fcr\u00fclt\u00fc olur, annem \u00f6l\u00fcr diye\u201d.<\/strong><\/p>\n

O k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck bedeniyle ne kadar b\u00fcy\u00fck bir g\u00f6rev \u00fcstlenmi\u015fti. Ka\u00e7\u0131m\u0131z en konu\u015fkan, en geveze \u00e7a\u011f\u0131m\u0131zda kendimizi susturmay\u0131 ba\u015farabiliriz ki? Ka\u00e7\u0131m\u0131z bir dondurma al\u0131nd\u0131\u011f\u0131nda bile sevin\u00e7 \u00e7\u0131\u011fl\u0131klar\u0131 atabilecekken, bu yo\u011fun duyguyu bast\u0131r\u0131p susmaya devam edebiliriz ki? Ka\u00e7\u0131m\u0131z? Bu kadar sevilmek\u2026 bu kadar de\u011fer verilmek\u2026<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":325,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[2,37],"tags":[45],"class_list":["post-324","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-hikayeler","category-one-cikan","tag-hikaye"],"yoast_head":"\nKonu\u015fmayan Selma - MsXLabs Sosyal<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.msxlabs.org\/sosyal\/konusmayan-selma\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"tr_TR\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Konu\u015fmayan Selma - MsXLabs Sosyal\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"...\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.msxlabs.org\/sosyal\/konusmayan-selma\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"MsXLabs Sosyal\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/MsXLabs.MK\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2017-07-21T19:41:08+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.msxlabs.org\/sosyal\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/07\/selma.png\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"600\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"315\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/png\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"MsXLabs\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@MsXLabs\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@MsXLabs\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Yazan:\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"MsXLabs\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Tahmini okuma s\u00fcresi\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"11 dakika\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.msxlabs.org\/sosyal\/konusmayan-selma\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.msxlabs.org\/sosyal\/konusmayan-selma\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"MsXLabs\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.msxlabs.org\/sosyal\/#\/schema\/person\/a2e0ddd3aea87f977cd529d7b2a5187c\"},\"headline\":\"Konu\u015fmayan Selma\",\"datePublished\":\"2017-07-21T19:41:08+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2017-07-21T19:41:08+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.msxlabs.org\/sosyal\/konusmayan-selma\/\"},\"wordCount\":2124,\"commentCount\":0,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.msxlabs.org\/sosyal\/#organization\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.msxlabs.org\/sosyal\/konusmayan-selma\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.msxlabs.org\/sosyal\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/07\/selma.png\",\"keywords\":[\"hikaye\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Hik\u00e2yeler\",\"\u00d6ne \u00c7\u0131kan\"],\"inLanguage\":\"tr\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.msxlabs.org\/sosyal\/konusmayan-selma\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.msxlabs.org\/sosyal\/konusmayan-selma\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.msxlabs.org\/sosyal\/konusmayan-selma\/\",\"name\":\"Konu\u015fmayan Selma - 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