{"id":612,"date":"2017-08-04T22:02:05","date_gmt":"2017-08-04T19:02:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.msxlabs.org\/sosyal\/?p=612"},"modified":"2017-08-04T22:02:05","modified_gmt":"2017-08-04T19:02:05","slug":"evin-en-buyuk-oglu","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.msxlabs.org\/sosyal\/evin-en-buyuk-oglu\/","title":{"rendered":"Evin en B\u00fcy\u00fck O\u011flu"},"content":{"rendered":"

Biz garip do\u011fduk \u015fu koca yery\u00fcz\u00fcne;<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Ne \u00fczerine binip gezece\u011fimiz bisikletimiz, ne de i\u00e7ine kum doldurup kamyonculuk oynayaca\u011f\u0131m\u0131z oyunca\u011f\u0131m\u0131z vard\u0131. Biz hep yar\u0131 a\u00e7 yar\u0131 tok doyan, k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck bir \u015fehrin ak\u015fam k\u0131z\u0131ll\u0131\u011f\u0131nda beli b\u00fck\u00fck evine d\u00f6nen babalar\u0131 g\u00f6rd\u00fck ve anneleri\u2026 S\u0131rtlar\u0131nda bebeklerle soba dolduran, baba gelecek diye oradan oraya ko\u015fturup marul\u2019la ak\u015fam yeme\u011fi haz\u0131rlayan anneleri\u2026<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Hep is kokusu vard\u0131 \u00e7ocuklu\u011fumuzda\u2026 \u00c7ocuklu\u011fumuz koca \u015fehrin varo\u015flar\u0131nda k\u00fcl par\u00e7alar\u0131 aras\u0131nda bilye oynamakla, bo\u015f buldu\u011fumuz yerlerdeki otlar\u0131 yakarak ge\u00e7erdi. Ayaklar\u0131m\u0131zda kenarlar\u0131 y\u0131rt\u0131k i\u00e7ine su alan siyah lastikten ayakkab\u0131lar oldu\u011fu halde \u00f6yle hoyrat\u00e7a ko\u015far oynard\u0131k kar ya\u011fan \u00e7amurla\u015fm\u0131\u015f sokaklarda, saklamba\u00e7 oynard\u0131k yere d\u00fc\u015fe kalka sonra g\u00fclerdik birbirimize bakarak, derken annelerimiz ba\u011f\u0131r\u0131rd\u0131 sanki bizi kaybetmi\u015f gibi mahalleyi y\u0131kan sesiyle;<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u2013 \u201cHakan, Ali, Ahmet\u2026\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Hi\u00e7 \u00fcst\u00fcm\u00fcze al\u0131nmazd\u0131k oynard\u0131k \u00e7ocuk y\u00fcre\u011fimizle hi\u00e7 fenal\u0131k, riya, hile bilmeden\u2026<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Birden mahallenin en ya\u015fl\u0131 amcas\u0131 gelirdi ve kulaklar\u0131m\u0131zdan tutarken; \u201cAnneniz \u00e7a\u011f\u0131r\u0131yor g\u00f6rm\u00fcyor musunuz? Bak\u0131n ak\u015fam ezan\u0131 da okundu haydi gidin evinize\u2026\u201d diye \u00e7\u0131k\u0131\u015f\u0131rd\u0131.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 O zamanlar nas\u0131l yermi\u015fiz o yemekleri ellerimizin tozu topra\u011f\u0131yla? Tabii ki bunlar birer hayaldi annemiz bizi hi\u00e7 banyoya sokup y\u0131kamadan yemek sofras\u0131na oturtur muydu? Yeme\u011fi yerdik g\u00f6zlerimizde bu\u011fuyla, \u00f6yle ya az \u00f6nce elimiz y\u00fcz\u00fcm\u00fcz y\u0131kanm\u0131\u015f babadan da \u00f6yle sa\u011flam bir azar yemi\u015fiz ki nas\u0131l as\u0131k olmas\u0131nd\u0131 y\u00fczlerimiz\u2026 Yemek biter bitmez baba \u00e7ekilirdi bir k\u00f6\u015feye, bir k\u00fcrek k\u00f6m\u00fcr at\u0131lm\u0131\u015f soban\u0131n etraf\u0131nda toplan\u0131rd\u0131k annem, ben, amcam, karde\u015fim ve ninem \u00f6yle mutlu bir aile tablosu \u00e7izerdik. Vakit ilerlemeye ba\u015flad\u0131k\u00e7a baban\u0131n omuzlar\u0131na daha bir \u00e7\u00f6kerdi yorgunluk,<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 G\u00f6z kapaklar\u0131nda ki yorgunluk bedenine vurur t\u00fcm g\u00fcn\u00fcn i\u015f\u00e7i yorgunlu\u011fuyla g\u00f6zleri kapan\u0131verirdi, kim bilir neler d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcrd\u00fc o cefak\u00e2r o vefak\u00e2r y\u00fcre\u011finin derinliklerinde, o da istemez miydi evlatlar\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7ok iyi \u015fartlarda yeti\u015ftirmeyi?<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Gece olunca hep birlikte ayn\u0131 odan\u0131n i\u00e7inde yatard\u0131k \u00e7ok g\u00fczel olurdu. Annemin s\u0131cac\u0131k g\u00f6\u011fs\u00fcne ba\u015f\u0131m\u0131 yaslar \u00f6ylece uykuya dalard\u0131m \u00e7ocuk akl\u0131mdaki onca hayalle\u2026<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Ben karde\u015flerimden biraz farkl\u0131yd\u0131m, onlar ancak oyun oynay\u0131p kavga ederlerdi ben ise g\u00f6zlerimi yumdu\u011fumda hep kendimi b\u00fcy\u00fck bir binan\u0131n en \u00fcst kat\u0131nda g\u00f6r\u00fcrd\u00fcm.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u00dczerimde tak\u0131m elbise kravat, elimde siyah bir \u00e7anta, k\u00f6rpe g\u00f6nl\u00fcmde onca \u00e7ocuksu izlerle y\u00fcr\u00fcrd\u00fcm.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Sabah olup g\u00f6zlerimi a\u00e7t\u0131\u011f\u0131mda kendimi yine eskisi gibi k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck evimizde g\u00f6r\u00fcnce \u00fcz\u00fcl\u00fcrd\u00fcm ama sonradan annemin ellerini sa\u00e7lar\u0131mda hissedince y\u00fcz\u00fcm birden g\u00fcl\u00fcverirdi.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u00dczerimizi giyinip okul yoluna d\u00fc\u015ferdik sabah\u0131n alt\u0131s\u0131nda so\u011fukta ayazda, minib\u00fcsle okula gidenler bizimle dalga ge\u00e7erlerdi. Bu duruma minik y\u00fcre\u011fimiz, k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fcc\u00fck ayaklar\u0131m\u0131z dayanmaz, okula onlardan \u00f6nce ula\u015fmak i\u00e7in h\u0131zl\u0131 h\u0131zl\u0131 y\u00fcr\u00fcrd\u00fck sanki yeti\u015fecekmi\u015f gibi\u2026 Okulda \u00f6\u011fretmenimiz hayat bilgisi dersi verirken ben hep d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcrd\u00fcm acaba hayat kitapta ki gibi tozpembe mi diye? Ay\u015fe hep s\u00fct i\u00e7er, Oya hep eve gider, Ali hep ders \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131rd\u0131 T\u00fcrk\u00e7e kitaplar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n sayfalar\u0131nda\u2026 Onlara \u00f6zenirdim, eve gidince annemden s\u00fct isterdim, ders \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131rd\u0131m, ama hi\u00e7 y\u00fcz\u00fcm Ali gibi, Oya gibi, Ay\u015fe gibi g\u00fclmezdi nedense?<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Bayramlar daha bir de\u011fi\u015fik olurdu iki g\u00f6z evimizde, bayram arifelerinde bizi bir heyecan sarard\u0131, \u00f6yle ya yar\u0131n bayramd\u0131 ve babam bize yeni elbiseler, yeni ayakkab\u0131lar alacakt\u0131, bizim babam\u0131z d\u00fcnyan\u0131n en g\u00fc\u00e7l\u00fc, en b\u00fcy\u00fck, en zengin babas\u0131yd\u0131. Sokaklarda ko\u015fup oynayacakt\u0131k, hi\u00e7bir \u015feye ald\u0131rmadan, minik y\u00fcre\u011fimizle, minicik ellerimizle \u015feker toplayacakt\u0131k b\u00fcy\u00fck amcalar\u0131n, a\u011fabeylerin evlerinden, sonra maytap patlatacakt\u0131k ba\u015f\u0131na buyruk \u00f6ylece olan biteni d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnmeden\u2026 Oysa babam\u0131z bize yeni ayakkab\u0131lar alamazd\u0131, elbiseler alamazd\u0131. Annemden duymu\u015ftum bir kere;<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Babam\u0131n i\u015fleri iyi gitmiyormu\u015f. Bu y\u0131lda ge\u00e7en y\u0131lki gibi eski elbisemizi giyecektik.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u2013 \u201cAnne biz neden hep b\u00f6yle eski elbiselerle geziyoruz?<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Bak Ahmet\u2019e babas\u0131 ne g\u00fczel elbiseler alm\u0131\u015f, birde top alm\u0131\u015f oynas\u0131n diye. Babam niye bize alm\u0131yor anne Ahmet\u2019in babas\u0131 gibi, anne ben hep b\u00f6yle eski yamal\u0131 pantolonlarla m\u0131 gezece\u011fim?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 O anda babam\u0131n sesiyle irkilirdik; \u201c\u00c7ocuklar haydi gelin, bug\u00fcn bayram \u00f6p\u00fcn bakal\u0131m elimi de har\u00e7l\u0131k vereyim, \u015feker vereyim.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Birden y\u00fcz\u00fcm\u00fczde ne kadar \u00fcz\u00fcnt\u00fc keder varsa hepsi silinir,<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Ya\u015fl\u0131 g\u00f6zlerimizi babam\u0131za belli etmeden giderdik elini \u00f6pmeye har\u00e7l\u0131k almak i\u00e7in\u2026<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Anne ben b\u00fcy\u00fcy\u00fcnce doktor olaca\u011f\u0131m derdim. Annem neden diye sordu\u011funda ise; \u201c Hani babam hasta ya, i\u015fte babam\u0131 ben muayene edece\u011fim ba\u015fka kimseye g\u00f6ndermeyece\u011fim.\u201d Oysa babam\u0131n ne bizi okutacak paras\u0131 ne de bizim d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fcklerimizi bilecek f\u0131rsat\u0131 vard\u0131.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 O varsa yoksa bize ekmek getirmek i\u00e7in u\u011fra\u015f\u0131yordu. Ne zaman anneme babam nerede diye sorsam ekmek paras\u0131 kazan\u0131yor derdi.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Geceleri yorgan\u0131n alt\u0131na girdi\u011fimde hep b\u00fcy\u00fck adam olmay\u0131 hayal ederdim.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Bir g\u00fcn koca koca arabalara binip \u00e7ok zengin oldu\u011fumu d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcrd\u00fcm. Ama hep sabah olur ve annemin sesiyle uyan\u0131rd\u0131m yeni bir g\u00fcn i\u00e7in g\u00f6zlerimde gelecek g\u00fcnlerin hayaliyle\u2026<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Bir g\u00fcn annem, babam ve ninemi a\u011flarken g\u00f6rd\u00fcm. Babam hi\u00e7 ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 kald\u0131rmadan oldu\u011fu yerden ince ince g\u00f6zya\u015flar\u0131 d\u00f6k\u00fcyor, annem ile ninem; \u201cGitti evimizin dire\u011fi gitti!\u201d diye a\u011fl\u0131yorlard\u0131. Unuttum s\u00f6ylemeyi benim birde dedem vard\u0131 \u00f6yle iyi \u00f6yle cana yak\u0131nd\u0131 ki onu \u00e7ok severdim. Bana hep \u015feker verir, hep severdi. Babama dedemi sordu\u011fumda; \u201cDeden uzaklara gitti yavrum.\u201d demi\u015fti. Kendi kendime k\u0131zard\u0131m dedem neden beni \u00f6pmeden gitti diye k\u00fcserdim herkese, dedemi en son kamyonun \u00fcst\u00fcnde bana el sallarken g\u00f6rm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fcm; \u201cYavrum annenleri \u00fczme babana iyi bak evin en b\u00fcy\u00fck o\u011flu sensin Allaha emanet ol!\u201d Dedeme k\u0131zm\u0131\u015ft\u0131m, ben daha 8 ya\u015f\u0131nday\u0131m nas\u0131l evin en b\u00fcy\u00fck o\u011fluydum ki? Benden \u00f6nce babam vard\u0131 babam dedemin o\u011flu de\u011fimliydi? Tamam, anlad\u0131m dedem g\u00f6nl\u00fcm\u00fc al\u0131yordu beni sevindiriyordu. Bende dedeme babam\u0131n kuca\u011f\u0131ndan el sall\u0131yordum.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 En son \u00f6yle g\u00f6rm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fcm dedemi, b\u00fcy\u00fcy\u00fcnce s\u00f6ylediler dedemin trafik kazas\u0131nda hayat\u0131n\u0131 kaybetti\u011fini, annem dedi ki;<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u2013 \u201cO\u011flum sana \u00e7ok a\u011flars\u0131n diye s\u00f6ylemedik.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Evin en b\u00fcy\u00fck o\u011flu bendim, onun i\u00e7in \u00e7ok \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmam laz\u0131md\u0131, aln\u0131m\u0131n terini topra\u011fa ak\u0131tmal\u0131yd\u0131m ki o da bana ekmek versin.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u015eimdi mi?<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u015eimdi 14 ya\u015f\u0131nda koca adam\u0131m,\u00a0 yine b\u00fcy\u00fck adam olma hayalleri kuruyorum ve babam ile dedemi d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcyorum. Var g\u00fcc\u00fcmle \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131yorum.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u00d6yle ya evin en b\u00fcy\u00fck o\u011flu benim\u2026<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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